Triangle Mamas

I am THAT Mom

by Andrea

A letter to my pre-child self.

Dear Self,

Right now you are neck deep in issues that are really important to you. Things like where you will order takeout from tonight (5-Star) and if those shorts are too short (they are). You probably got stressed out at work and yelled at your boss. You do that a lot. It’s cool though because he probably yelled at you first and you will one day realize that your sucky job as a member of a really super-dysfunctional office family will provide you with the fondest memories of your career.

At any rate, you’re stressed and you see these moms who talk and talk and talk about their kids and their lives and you think LAWD don’t ever let me be THAT mom. Don’t EVER let me wear mom jeans and seriously? If I even think of leaving the house with chipped toenails just go ahead and put my head in the oven.

I hate to break it to you, but…

You are SO that mom. You will SOOOO be that mom! Hahaha! And you don’t even know it!!!

I suppose it’s for the best because you might think twice about skipping that pill if you knew that you would still be carrying an extra 20lbs 2 years post-partum. Or that you would never truly have an unfiltered night’s sleep again free from the stresses of keeping another human alive. You might have thought differently about the endless cleaning and planning and eating. I mean you have to feed those little suckers. All day!

You might have judged your mom self if you saw the afternoon spent at the Post Office snapping at a squirmy toddler while trying to seal a package with one hand and pay with the other. You might have scoffed at the fact that the child was not completely silent and post office appropriate.

But when you sneezed, you would not have heard Wesss You, Mama.

And I promise, you are NOT going to want to miss that.

Love,
Your Postpartum Self

P.S. Dump the guy. You’re gonna do waaaay better than him.

This is a cross-post from Lil-Kid-Things where Andrea blogs about life, love and the pursuit of sleep. You can also catch her on Twitter and Facebook!

Glass Houses and Logs in Your Eyes

Last week, the boys and I headed to North Hills to get our stroller fixed and buy me some new sunglasses so I could be guaranteed to find my old ones (which I did the very next day). It was lunch time, so we headed over to Chik-fil-a, but stopped by the commons to play for a minute first.

There is always something going on there in the mornings for kiddos. That day, they had tents set up for shade and play mats out for tumbling. Christopher took his shoes off and started to play.

Another mom was standing near me. She had twin girls that looked to be about two. Maybe a little younger. The girls were busy busy, getting water in cups from the cooler that Starbucks provided and dumping it out onto the mats. Every time the mom would wrangle one of the girls and get her to stop, the other one had started doing it. She was trying her best, but they were playing her.

I had my hands full with my two boys, but tried to give her an understanding smile as she ran circles trying to corral the twins. A third mom sat on the ground, watching her phone mostly. She looked at the twins' mother and said, "Can you clean that up please? Someone is going to slip."

She had a point. Water on the mats was kind of dangerous, but rather than just telling her, couldn't she have helped her?

I blew it off because it didn't seem to bother the twins' mom. She went into Starbucks (having to leave the twins to get more water while she wasn't watching) and got some napkins to pacify the bossy mom.

Meanwhile, an older boy had started chasing Christopher. Even though they were the same height, it was obvious that the boy was a good two years older than Christopher. As soon as he would catch up to Christopher, he would spit on him.

Mama wasn't happy.

I watched for a second to see what my little boy would do. He turned to the older boy and said, "Please stop."

Just like that. Please stop, politely. Of course, when the older boy didn't stop and just pursued him more aggressively, the polite voice that Christopher had turned into screaming pretty quickly.

I headed over to get him away from the older boy and finally figured out which one was his mom. She had turned to see who was screaming at her son.

Bossy mom. That's right. Little Miss Clean-up-that-mess was too busy bossing around other moms to notice that her son was bullying a two year old.

Nice.

My passive aggressive kicked in as we stood next to her to put Christopher's shoes back on. I praised him loud enough for her to hear. I praised him for asking the boy nicely to "please stop" and told him that sometimes kids didn't listen or play nicely. Then I told him he could always come to me for help if that happened again.

I doubt she took any notice of any of that though, because she most likely was already back to patrolling the other, less perfect than herself, mothers.

Crossposted from Don't Take the Repeats where you can find Marty pontificating about life with a high schooler and two preschoolers. You can find her in less words on Twitter or just go ahead and friend her on Facebook.

Music Together with Suzanne, now with more cowbell!

Never fear, Triangle Mamas is still a place for mamas to come and share their stories. It's not just a place to let you know what to do and what's going on in the Triangle. I mean, we'll do some of that too, but I am not a reviewer. I just don't have the patience. Some of our other mamas are fabulous at it, but also, it turns out, there is a lovely blog that launched in Aprdoing a great job of sharing events. Do you know about them? Go over and say hello to A Mom in Chapel Hill, please. Tell them Triangle Mamas sent you.

Back to the matter at hand, however.

If you read my personal blog, then you know that I'm a musician. I'm a musician who believes that music in early childhood is absolutely key for optimal brain development.

I'm also a little neurotic sometimes. So much so, that I started taking my oldest son, Christopher, to Music Together classes when he was 7 weeks old.

Yes, I realize the insanity of that now, but what can I say? I had a good time, and the boy has solid rhythm and pretty good pitch now. He also has some phat communication skills and problem solving abilities for a 2.5 year old. Of course, I am his mother, and I also will tell you that he can probably achieve world peace if you would like for him to.

Anyway, Music Together with Suzanne isn't actually with Suzanne this year. It's with Catherine. This new teacher is fresh in from Austin, TX, and is phenomenal. I'm not kidding. She is so good - I want to go to her class everyday. 

You don't have to believe me; you can see for yourself. There are two more free demo classes for the summer. Bring your kids, ages birth to five (seriously, 7 weeks old, people), to the Unitarian Universalist Church in Raleigh on Wade Avenue on Friday, August 6 and August 13 at 10:00 to meet Ms. K and her super cool and awesome guitar. She wears pearls with her t-shirt (points in her favor), but isn't too prissy to blow raspberries in a ionian tonal pattern (bonus points in her favor).

This is an original, unsponsored Triangle Mamas post, although Marty does do a little work for Suzanne on occasion. This, however, is not part of her work, just an invitation to join her and her boys at the next demo class. You can also join her at her blog, Don't Take the Repeats, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

(Also, that picture was taken on Halloween during class. Dressing like an animal is not required to attend.)

Go On, Get Out There!

By Kelly

This past weekend the family & I ventured out on our first camping trip. It was supposed to be Mother's Day weekend, but a stomach bug postponed the trip. My hubby & I had been anxiously awaiting this trip, and had talked for a few years now about when the right time would be to take a rising 3 year old - we could not have timed it better!

For starters, we are huge fans of the NC State Parks system, and now that you are able to make reservations online & via telephone, instead of "first come, first served," it makes planning that much easier. We selected Hanging Rock State Park for it's proximity from our home (less than 2 hour drive west) & the activities. They have plenty of well appointed family campgrounds & very easy access to water, bath houses, hiking trails, etc. For those that are feeling a bit more inclined to stay closer to the indoors, they even have cabins to rent!

We have always been avid "outdoors people," with our most recent trip to the Canadian Rockies being a 5 day ultralight backpacking excursion. This trip was a serious change of pace, and a real luxury when it comes to camping - coolers, air mattresses, real food (not the dehydrated variety) - this preggo was in heaven ;)

All in all, the trip was a total success with just the right mix of downtime & adventure. After heading to bed fairly late Friday night, Wyatt slept until 8:15 on Saturday morning! Slept through all of the other kids at the campground riding around past the site on their scooters & bikes, and the early morning sounds & smells of campfires & breakfasts being made. A hike lasting a few short miles on Saturday to a waterfall kept us busy, as well as story time up at the Hanging Rock Visitor's Center. Of course there was plenty of time set aside for enjoying a campfire, as well as roasting first marshmallows.

No matter what your level of camping/outdoor experience is, I think anyone would enjoy a camping trip to one of the awesome State Parks in our system. Here are some tips I can share after going with a toddler (as a side note, I have not been paid to mention any of these products - they were just what we found to be useful!):

1) Get them their own flashlight - we selected one that was both a lantern & a flashlight. This way, we had the ones we needed, then he had his own to play with all night. We also grabbed a few glow sticks from the dollar bin, which were both entertaining & can serve as a night light in the tent.
2) We purchased a family tent that divides into 2 rooms, which definitely made it easier for all parties to sleep through the night. Wyatt knew we were right next door, but we didn't have to feel like we were right on top of each other. The tent we selected has plenty of room for more than one child on each side, plus each side had it's own door making it easier for Mom & Dad to come to bed after everyone else was asleep without disturbing them.
3) The other purchase we loved for the trip was a kid's Aerobed. Wyatt is still not in a bed, but even so, this mattress has 4 inch sides to it, so throughout all the tossing & turning each night (and there was plenty of it) he never rolled out onto the ground. It came with a fleece sheet, so all he needed was a blanket over top, or even just some warm footed PJ's this time of year in NC. I am already looking forward to using the bed again on vacations & hotel trips.
4) Although being away from all the things we rely on everyday - cell phones, PDA's, Internet, TV, etc - it was such a nice break for us. Wyatt absolutely loved all the undivided & uninterrupted attention from Mom & Dad, as any child would. We were also able to put him to task on quite a few things that he seemed to find pretty rewarding - finding different sized sticks to help with the fire, holding the tent stakes for Dad, helping hammer in the tent stakes & most importantly how to roast a good marshmallow.

Here are some favorite pics from the trip - I hope it inspires you to get out & enjoy the great outdoors with your little one(s) this spring & summer!

 
 
 

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When Kelly isn't spraying on bug spray in the great outdoors, she can be found blogging about her toddler adventures at Monkey Man.

Kids are weird

By Sue

Have you ever noticed that kids are really weird? 

Or maybe it is just MY kids.

Either way, I think they are weird and I love that. 

Take my kids for instance. My son loves to only wear his underwear around the house. Plus, when he goes over to other people's houses he obsessively takes off his shoes (thanks to me being obsessed with it as well), but then proceeds to take off his jacket AND his pants. He does this like it is second nature to him and a totally socially acceptable thing to do. When you ask him why he does this, he looks at you like you are speaking a foreign language or something. More like he is thinking, "Why aren't YOU doing it?"

My daughter thinks anything and everything is a telephone. (Maybe I talk on the phone too much!) She will pick up any inanimate object and hold it to her ear and say "Bye-Bye" over and over and over again. When you talk to her and hand her an actual telephone, she looks at you with such a scowl that you would think you had just taken away her best friend.

However, one of the weirdest things I have seen in my house was the day I walked into the family room to find my son on the floor, with no pants on, licking his feet?

"Why are you licking your feet?" I asked him nervous to hear the answer.

"I have something on my feet."

"What is it?"

"Doggy hair."

YUCK!

I was grossed out and intervened immediately but was laughing while I helped him.

I love that kids are silly, wear their emotions on their sleeve, are just - THEMSELVES.

They are themselves and make no apologies for it. I love that and that is a quality I admire.

Last night I had my friends over for pizza and playtime, but the best part about it was we put on some dance music and watch the boys boogie down to their hearts content. They had no inhibitions and just wiggled however they wanted to and loved every minute of it.

I love that kids are weird. I will be sad the day they conform and turn all normal on us.

Normal is boring, I like weird.

When Sue isn't laughing about how weird her kids are, you can find her blogging at Motherhood and Me.

Why My Boobies Are Happier Breastfeeding the Second Time Around

by Melissa

If there’s one thing motherhood does, it’s give women a free pass to talk about poop, pee, va-jay-jays and boobies without even flinching. With a three year old and a one MONTH old in our house, all of these topics are discussed daily (well, maybe not va-jay-jays). However, it’s the last one that’s compelled me enough to make a blog post. And it has to do with the night and day difference in breastfeeding this time around.

For all of you moms who got the shock of your life when you discovered breastfeeding isn’t all rainbows and fairy princesses, have some hope.

Before Big Roo was born, I had this glorified, delusional image of how easy breastfeeding would be. It's natural so it must be easy, right? I confidently proclaimed to anyone who asked that I planned to breastfeed exclusively for at least six months. I wish someone would clued me in on the little secret. The reality was not so simple. After three months of stabbing knives to my boobs, endless pumping and exhaustion, I admitted defeat and switched to formula. 

Fast forward to today. I've been breastfeeding for a month now with Little Roo and it's such a drastic difference that I'm almost in shock. I've been trying to pinpoint exactly WHY this time is so much easier. After some noodling, I came up with four reasons breastfeeding the second time around is a (mostly) enjoyable experience thus far: 

I Had a Superfabulous Lactation Consultant at the Hospital 

Boobs, meet baby. Baby, meet your source for breakfast, lunch, dinner, fourthmeal and snacktimes.

But when babies are born, they don't always know exactly what to do. That's why I found the lactation consultant from the hospital to be immensely helpful in kickstarting the breastfeeding bonanza. 

When Big Roo was born, I remember looking forward to the lactation consultant coming to see me. I had just had a C-section and wasn't even sure of the best way to hold him to nurse. But the consultant was kinda harsh. She shoved Big Roo into position with matter-of-fact "look, this is all you have to do" attitude. I felt like a rag doll… but one with boobs to grab and shove into the baby's mouth. While I soon realized breastfeeding wasn't necessarily "gentle" all the time, I just felt like she was all business- come in, show me what to do, then leave. No empathy, no patience and few tips.

The lactation consultant this time around rocked. She was full of information, tips and most of all, patience. She came to see me when Little Roo was a mere four hours old and stayed with us for almost an hour. She showed me what to do, then let me try for myself as she popped out tip after tip. I watched Little Roo as he tried to latch on. He was making the right moves but struggling to actually latch and suck. 

Just when I was starting to get worried that he wasn't "getting it," she assured me that he was doing great for being a few hours old. She pointed out the things he was doing right which eased my mind. When he finally latched, she pointed out how his body was perfectly aligned to mine, how his mouth was positioned right and all the other things to look for next time I nursed him sans her help. The consultant also showed me what to look for when he was doing it wrong (which definitely happened). 

When she left, I really felt like I could do this! For reassurance, I had her come back twice over the next couple of days to ask questions and have her check Little Roo's latch and positioning while I was nursing. It was just the confidence boost I needed.

Although I haven't needed it yet, I won't hesitate to call a lactation consultant if I have any issues. It's OKAY to ask for help. If you don't feel comfortable with the consultant you have, then find another one pronto! This is your starting point for months or even years of breastfeeding so there's no mediocrity allowed.

I Know What to Do With My Magic Lady Body

Okay, so I can't take credit for that fabulous terminology (after you finish this article, go read this one called "Moms Gone Wired." This girl's writing will knock your socks off.)  But three years ago, when I was a first-time mom learning to breastfeed, I didn't really know what to do. I devoutly read the week-by-week development articles and took a four-week childbirth class. However, I naively thought that breastfeeding would just happen naturally so I didn't put any effort into "learning" how to breastfeed.

Imagine my shock when Big Roo was five days old and I woke up with a sore, hot boob and a temperature of 102 degrees! Helloooo mastitis! Of course, I didn't know what mastitis even was until I placed a call to the doctor. But holy crap, that was the worst part of my entire postpartum experiene. 

After that healed, I still had sore, cracked nipples nearly all the time. My boobs leaked like Niagara Falls. And once I broke down in tears when blood made its way into my my pumped breastmilk. While I didn't quite give up (yet), I unintentionally went into masochist mode. I didn't really know nearly all my problems were due to a bad latch. I assumed the stabbing knifes I felt every time I breastfed were part of toughening those puppies up! I also made things worse when my boobs got engorged because I didn't want to nurse him at that point. Oh the pain I put myself through.

This time around, there's still some soreness and the occasional cracked nipple but now that I know what to look for, I've been able to curb many of the issues before they even start. I know to pump if I get too engorged for Little Roo to latch. If I notice hard spots, I know to massage them out while nursing so I don't get clogged ducts. I know to make Little Roo re-latch if he's sucking wrong even if it ticks him off. 

In addition to physically knowing what to do, I'm also more mentally prepared. I accept- no, embrace- the fact that my body is a machine. In all honesty, it goes to show what a miracle our bodies are… but I didn't see it like that last time. It seems that now I don't mind the "work" that comes with breastfeeding as much. I know the middle of the night feedings, sore nipples, limited caffeine intake, etc won't last forever. I'll be able to laugh it off if I leak in public instead of freak out. I'm enjoying the bonding time instead of wondering where the hell the body from my past life ran off to.

I Bought and Borrowed the Right Supplies

While our mothers may scoff ("we didn't have all that stuff when *I* breastfed years ago. I also walked 10 miles in the snow to school."), I found that breastfeeding is tons easier when you've got the right supplies. Last time, I had a few of current-day must-haves - a Boppy, a breastpump (if you plan to bottle feed), nursing pads and nursing bras. This time, I went a step further. Nursing shirts (especially tank tops) put my boobies in easy reach… ideal when you have a shrieking baby doing his best impression of a desperately hungry baby bird. 

A close friend gave me a really cute nursing cover too. It's already come in handy a few times while out in public. I also purchased a hands-free pumping bra-- it looks hilarious when it's on but it keeps those suckers in place so I can be the multitasking queen that I am. And I don't even know if the hydrogel pads existing three years ago but what a freaking relief those are for soreness. 

While none of these are NECESSARY, they sure make this breastfeeding life a helluva lot easier.

I Released Myself from the Self-Induced Quarantine

For some reason, last go around I was a glutton for punishment. Breastfeeding meant holing myself up in my house. I always fed Big Roo from a bottle when in public. At home, I nursed him behind closed doors when friends or family were there instead of using a nursing cover and enjoying the company. When I pumped milk, I'd quarantine myself to the glider in Big Roo's room… away from Daddy Roo, the TV or anything remotely stimulating. 

Due to the pain and uncertainty of my ability to breastfeed, I didn't feel comfortable enough to just go with it. It made me frustrated. I got sick of being a slave to the boobs.

But this time, I realize I don't need to camp out behind a closed door to breastfeed. If he needs to eat while I'm out, I carry my nursing cover. I pump in the living room in front of the TV or while chatting with the hubs. I nurse in front of friends during playdates instead of hide out in my room. I'm more comfortable being a mommy (had three years of practice, right?) and I'm more comfortable breastfeeding.

Bonus! My iPhone

Yep, my iPhone is one of the things that makes breastfeeding easier. How exactly? Well, first I downloaded this free app called BabyBix to track my breastfeeding. I simply hit a button that says "Left Side" and it starts tracking Little Roo's feeding. It's magic! At night, I don't have to flubber around in the dark for a pen and paper to track his feedings. While I may not always need to write this stuff down, in these early days I can hardly remember which side I started feeding him on just a few hours before. 

Oh, I can even track how many ounces I pump a day. The BabyBix app also comes in handy when I'm off running an errand. When did I feed him last? Just check the app and I know about how much time's left ticking before I need to feed.

The other thing I love about my iPhone is keeping myself busy during the nighttime feedings. I try to be all business with Little Roo at our night feedings so he quickly goes back to sleep. So while I feed him in the dark of night, I check Facebook, play Words with Friends, read the latest news and browse Twitter.

So, I'm only a few weeks into my breastfeeding experience round deux. So far, it's happy boobies= happy baby= blissfully happy mama. And maybe a rainbow too.

What's your best breastfeeding tip? Was there anything that was different the second time around? Or that you learned from your first child?

Original post by Melissa, breastfeeding ninja. When she's not breastfeeding or chasing a three year old around, she's blogging about motherhood and the great outdoors at adventuroo.com.

New Web Site for Safety Information

Attention Parents!

The JPMA (Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association) has just launched a new section of their Web site, specifically for you, called the Parenthood.

Caregivers can get access to important information, recall announcements and tips on safety from well-renowned safety experts like Alison Rhodes. Rhodes provides advice like her ABC’s of Safety:

Awareness is the most critical element. Babies begin rolling over, crawling and walking when you least expect it. While your child might not be able to roll off the changing table today, by tomorrow she could. Recognize that every child is different and be aware of your child's "vulnerabilities." Some children are natural climbers so securing heavy furniture to the walls might be the top priority. Other children are more interested in ingesting anything they can get their hands on. For them, cabinet and drawer locks for the kitchen and bathrooms would be more important.

Barriers are necessary to ensure your baby's safety. Whether it's installing gates on stairs or locks on cabinets, it's important that safeguards be put in place. Don't forget the existing barriers in your home. Home offices, exercise rooms and laundry rooms are no place for children. By installing automatic door closers and bolts at the top of the doors you can keep these areas off limits. Locks and alarms should also be placed on patio doors. Little ones can very quickly learn how to open a slider door.

Controlling your child's environment will allow them the freedom to explore while at the same time protecting them from hazards. We call them "safe zones." These are areas that have been secured and where your child is always within your view. We occasionally hear objections, especially from first time parents, that they want their child to be able to have the run of the house. This is risky as there are too many opportunities for your child to be out of your sight. Safe zones can be large enough to give your child ample room to explore and play while in a secure area.

Sign up now for a FREE membership to the Parenthood and receive important safety updates as well as have a chance to win some cool baby gear!

Erin can be found hanging out with her 13 month old son and husband and on her blog Tales from a Marketing Mama. She also serves as Director of Marketing Communications at juvenile distributor Scandinavian Child.

Margaritas

By Sue

I had the pleasure of grabbing margaritas with some girlfriends the other night and the topics of discussion were about the same as they always are when we get together.

We catch up, tell each other about what recent events may be going on in our lives and with our families. We talk about our kids, compare stories and ask for advice. We then move on to current events and things of that nature, but the conversation always rounds it’s way over to husbands.

This evening the common theme to the husband topic was equality. Each and everyone of us discussed how we felt care giving equality fell short.

Now don’t get me wrong, don’t get the idea that we get together to bash our husbands. I was just surprised at how each one of us were bothered or annoyed by the same exact things.

Our husbands range in age, height, weight, race, educational background, you name it, but it was surprising to me that all of our stories sounded identical.

Each one of us felt like we were left to carry the weight of care giving. Working mom or stay at home mom, the complaints were the same.

Examples:

"I take care of the kids all day and all week by myself, but when he does it for a couple of hours, I feel like he is acting like he deserves a medal!"

"I love when he wants to spend time with the kids and let me relax, but coming home to a house that has exploded and having to be the one to clean it up is not my idea of relaxing. Why can’t he take care of the kids and pick up after himself at the same time. I am not asking him to clean the whole house, just pick up after lunch, block time, etc."

"I work too, but how come the majority of the house and child care falls on me?"

Sound familiar?

This left me thinking, are we asking for too much or not giving our husbands the benefit of the doubt? Not exactly, but I do think we can cut them some slack. This, especially for me, is easier said than done.

I think we need to realize that the majority of care giving falls into our laps because we (as stay at home moms at least) do it 99.9% of the time already. It comes easily to us and we are used to doing it. When we ask them or they want to do a majority of the tasks we do on a daily basis, it isn’t going to come as easily to them, mainly because they don’t have that much practice time.

I see this in my house a lot. It is a piece of cake for me to wrangle the kids, make dinner, clean up the playroom, fold laundry, and talk on the phone at the same time because that is what I do all day everyday. I am trying to learn to cut my husband some slack when it comes to multitasking at this magnitude.

The only time I have a problem is when a time comes that requires him to do everything, it leaves him stressed, resentful and ill-equipped.

This conversation with my girlfriends stayed with me, because I think this is an argument that will never be resolved. It will never be equal, or at least it will never feel equal.

Our husbands most likely feel the same way as we do. Do we understand what it feels like to have the stress of the family’s financial wellbeing fall solely onto us? (Now, I am not a working mom, so I can only tell my side of the story. Working moms, chime in and give me your side!) I know I think I do, but in reality I don’t.

I believe it all comes down to balance and I am finding that balance is not so easily accomplished. I personally find it difficult to find balance between being a mother, a wife, a friend and then squeezing in time for just me.

Balance is what we all strive for, because when we are balanced we feel that things run smoothly, our lives are less stressful and we are in a mindset to really enjoy those around us.

One of my many goals for 2010 is to take steps towards feeling and being more balanced.

What do you think?

Will this argument ever be resolved?

We will ever really be equal?

What is it like for all the working moms out there that have to balance even more than I do?

When Sue isn’t trying to balance her kids and the rest of her life, she can be found blogging at Motherhood and Me  or chatting away on Twitter.

The Little Things

by Cyndi

When my first-born was about 6 weeks old, my BFF (who already had two children of her own) came up from Atlanta for a visit. In addition to offering me her shoulder to cry on (who knew motherhood was so exhausting?!) and her wonderful, wise company, she also gave me a most important gift -- she taught me the importance of knowing the best to places to shop when you have a nursing baby.

While she was in town, we went to the mall -- I'm not much of a mall-shopper, but I was desperate to learn how to leave my house with the new baby without having a total meltdown (and I mean, me melting down, not the baby). Together, we figured out which department stores had bathrooms with a lounge area and which shops didn't give the stink-eye when we sat in the changing rooms for a baby snack. Those stores quickly became the only places I went when I needed to shop in those early, scary, newborn months.

As Junius got older and we added Pippi to the mix, my needs have changed over time -- these days I don't worry about a place to nurse, but I am always on the lookout for shops with family-friendly bathrooms. With one child in diapers and one potty-trained, we need a little of everything on a good potty break.

Today, while having a much-needed lunch with a friend, I discovered an impressive little family touch in the ladies' room at Bruegger's Bagels in Ridge Road Shopping Center -- the "invisible" potty seat. It's one of those three part toilet seats with a regular seat, a kid-sized seat and a lid all on one hinge (see photo). It's a small change, but a big deal for a new potty-trainee whose tushie would fall through the regular-size seat. Even thought I was there sans-kiddos, I was still thrilled to see the attention to detail.

In a time when families can feel more than unwelcome in some stores (see the Michigan Target store that called the police about a breast-feeding mom earlier this month -- although to be fair, the family bathroom at the North Hills Target is always clean and easy for potty breaks), it's nice to see a business taking steps to make families comfortable.

Share your tips here -- what are your favorite family-friendly places in the Triangle?

When Cyndi isn't scoping out public restrooms, she can be found chasing her two children (ages 4.5 and almost 2) or writing at Junius & Pippi Take the Cake.

Image from Amazon.com.

Why I Almost Lost It Over a Pink Lovey

by Melissa

Saturday was trouble in loveyland. 

Not even a week after writing this post about my son’s slowly-withering companion - a pink bear named Burt - we almost lost him forever in the cramped, crowded aisles somewhere in Toys R Us. 

The plan for the day was for Daddy Roo, Big Roo and I to drive to the nearest Toys R Us to finish our toy shopping. I live in not-the-middle-of-nowhere-suburbia but for some reason the closest store was 12 miles across town. Our main mission? Get Big Roo this awesome (and majorly on sale) V-Tech Digital Camera and pick up some miscellaneous things to finish off Santa’s duty for the Roo house. 

After Big Roo’s nap, we packed up and headed out on a dreary, drizzly and cold afternoon to Toys R Us. When we arrived, Big Roo as usual wanted to take Burt inside (along with the red AND blue Lightning McQueen). So we stuffed the cars in his pockets and I tossed Burt in the shopping cart.

While we were in line to check out, Big Roo started peering into the cart a wee bit too much so Daddy Roo decided to walk him around the store while I paid. As I waited in line, I heard Daddy Roo say, “We’re going to go search for a bathroom. He has to pee pee.” 

I think it was here that it all went downhill. 

As I was annoyingly rattling off my last three phone numbers hoping desperately that one of them was THE number I used for my Toys R Us Rewards Card (man I hate being THAT person but there I was), Daddy Roo huffed past me and muttered, “We didn’t make it.” He took Big Roo over near the exit to wait. As Big Roo turned around I saw the tell-tell sign of a kid who “didn’t make it”-- a big dark spot right in the crotch! I was so flustered trying to pay and feeling hurried to get the kid home for dry pants that the cashier had to remind me to take the bag of toys! 

We rushed out into the cold drizzle, strapped Big Roo in the carseat and shuffled into the car to warm up and get home. It was starting to get dark, we were getting hungry and - oh yeah - Big Roo is sitting in wet pants. We hop on the highway and sit painfully through stops, starts and red brake lights a plenty. About 15 minutes later, Big Roo proclaims “I want Burt.” 

My heart sank. 

My stomach dropped. 

Somehow I KNEW Burt wasn’t in the car, even before I turned around. I twisted my preggo body around to scan the back seat. Then I checked the abyss between the carseat and the door. I looked everywhere but Burt was gone. He was lost somewhere among all the shiny, new toys at Toys R Us. Ah, crap. 

Daddy Roo zips into the next exit lane. Time to turn around and see if Burt was a goner or not. The whole drive there my senses were acutely aware of our surroundings and it threw my annoyance level into overdrive. The rain hitting the windshield, the traffic, the fact that we weren't quite able to go the speed limit-- it was all slowing us down. My mind was racing, simultaneously trying to remember when the last time that we actually saw Burt was as well as picturing how Big Roo would go to sleep tonight if Burt wasn't in his bed. Or the next day when Burt wasn't there for him to squeeze when he woke up. Big Roo didn't quite understand the severity of what was happening in loveyland, but me, well, I was freaking out. Panicking. 

You can't just buy another pink bear, roll him in the dirt, wash him a zillion times and call it Burt. No, that would be an impostor. Burt was a one-and-only. And he was currently somewhere in or near a store full of hurried December shoppers. 

I tried to call Toys R Us but kept getting a busy signal. And the worst... Big Roo, a rare complainer, starts whining that he's gotta pee pee, totally in agony trying to stop himself from going again. Miserable. 

An eternity later, we arrived at the store. We drove slowly past the cart return to make sure he wasn't lying in the wet parking lot. Nope. 

We pulled into a spot then walked up to the store planning our attack: Daddy Roo would retrace our steps through the Lego aisle, PlayDoh and more, while I would ask customer service about Lost and Found. As I was waiting for someone to help me, Big Roo locks his knees together and squeals "I gotta pee pee!" 

I screwed waiting and picked Big Roo up to situate him around my preggo belly. I didn't want anyone to see his pants soaked in the front. Plus, we can get there faster this way. I start walking somewhere, anywhere hoping to spot an employee who can point me to the bathroom that eluded Daddy Roo just 30 minutes earlier. I grabbed the first person I saw, asked for the bathroom and told her we lost a pink bear. She points me to the potty and said she'd go see if someone turned him into Lost and Found. 

As I was hustling to the bathroom, I swear I felt it get warm around my waist. Not sure, but I think poor Big Roo peed again. If he did, he still managed to go again once we were in an actual stall. As we walked out of the bathroom and turned the corner, I saw the most relieving sight in recent mommy memory. The Toys R Us employee stood there, shoulders up straight with her hands behind her back. 

I just knew by the stance. 

She slowly pulled a tattered pink bear known as Burt out from behind her. "Were you looking for this?" She asked Big Roo. 

 He grinned and grabbed Burt for a big ole hug. My eyes watered as I gave her the thank you of all thank yous. I was pretty sure she's returned loveys to their rightful owners before, but in our world, she was our heroine. 

We ventured off to find Daddy Roo who was still on the search, collectively sighed with relief and then headed home for some dry pants. We never found out exactly where Burt was discovered or what adventures he had been on. But it really didn't matter. The separated were again inseparable. 

 Whew. That was close.

Cross-post by Melissa, caregiver of her two-year-old son and Burt. When she’s not playing bodyguard to a pink bear, she can be found blogging about kids and the outdoors at adventuroo.com.