I began singing in church at a very young age. I can't remember when exactly, but I don't think I was a teen yet. I continued in the pattern no matter what church I went to at the time and usually enjoyed it. That is, until I started going to my current church. For a couple years, I refused to volunteer in any way because I felt I was "burnt out". I came to the services late and left before most people could gather their belongings. And if I am honest, it was really nice to let that selfishness play out. But it was only a matter of time before I found myself being pulled toward what I believe is my calling. And I began singing with the band.
Worship has been my lifeline on so many occasions that I can't count. In times where I felt so lost and nothing could touch me, a song could slice me in half. Not destructively, but in that surgical, I'm here to help you kind of way. When I took time off after Oscar was born, I again welcomed the reprieve. But I was a bit surprised to find that again, while a break was nice, I felled pulled to serve again. I don't know why it surprised me. It's not like life stops when you have a child. I just figured I would move on to something else. But I should know better!
One would think that stepping into an old pair of shoes would be comforting and welcome. Many times in life, I think this is absolutely true. But like so much else after carrying and birthing a child, those shoes just don't fit like they used to. This has been no clearer in my life than when I started singing in the worship band again. It has been almost exactly one year since I stepped down. For the most part, the time has passed without notice. But I knew it was time.
As I arrived at practice I expected my old shoes just waiting for me to fill. However, something strange happened.I recognized the place but the fit was completely different. New faces, new songs, even a new stage! There would be a lot more than my jitters to overcome! OH, hello nerves! My voice tries to betray me. Along with my waistline, it has become relaxed and unforgiving when forced to go somewhere it doesn't belong. I am excited to get to know the talented people around me that I haven't had a chance to connect with yet. I am learning that even in this process of rejoining a ministry that I really love, I will remain forever changed. The shoes are there, but the fit is completely different. And that is ok. Having a child changes everything. Everything! I am starting to wonder if comfort is the anomaly. As if to say that we are constantly in a state of flux save for a day of rest here and there. It's been amazing to see my transformation into motherhood over the past year. If I can get outside myself I can almost see it slowly making it's way through my body like blood through my veins.
The beauty of worship is that we are all just people. Singers and musicians who love to worship and are called to help lead others. The difference now is in me. Here I am doing something I have done countless times in my life. Yet, I do it as a mother for the first time. I am starting over. It's such a privilege. What old shoes do you have? Have you found them to "fit differently" since becoming a mom? I'd love to hear your stories!
Andrea has a one year old son named Oscar who has turned her life upside-down and inside-out. And she wouldn't change a thing. Follow her journey at Lil-Kid-Things, on Twitter and on FaceBook!
Worship has been my lifeline on so many occasions that I can't count. In times where I felt so lost and nothing could touch me, a song could slice me in half. Not destructively, but in that surgical, I'm here to help you kind of way. When I took time off after Oscar was born, I again welcomed the reprieve. But I was a bit surprised to find that again, while a break was nice, I felled pulled to serve again. I don't know why it surprised me. It's not like life stops when you have a child. I just figured I would move on to something else. But I should know better!
One would think that stepping into an old pair of shoes would be comforting and welcome. Many times in life, I think this is absolutely true. But like so much else after carrying and birthing a child, those shoes just don't fit like they used to. This has been no clearer in my life than when I started singing in the worship band again. It has been almost exactly one year since I stepped down. For the most part, the time has passed without notice. But I knew it was time.
As I arrived at practice I expected my old shoes just waiting for me to fill. However, something strange happened.I recognized the place but the fit was completely different. New faces, new songs, even a new stage! There would be a lot more than my jitters to overcome! OH, hello nerves! My voice tries to betray me. Along with my waistline, it has become relaxed and unforgiving when forced to go somewhere it doesn't belong. I am excited to get to know the talented people around me that I haven't had a chance to connect with yet. I am learning that even in this process of rejoining a ministry that I really love, I will remain forever changed. The shoes are there, but the fit is completely different. And that is ok. Having a child changes everything. Everything! I am starting to wonder if comfort is the anomaly. As if to say that we are constantly in a state of flux save for a day of rest here and there. It's been amazing to see my transformation into motherhood over the past year. If I can get outside myself I can almost see it slowly making it's way through my body like blood through my veins.
The beauty of worship is that we are all just people. Singers and musicians who love to worship and are called to help lead others. The difference now is in me. Here I am doing something I have done countless times in my life. Yet, I do it as a mother for the first time. I am starting over. It's such a privilege. What old shoes do you have? Have you found them to "fit differently" since becoming a mom? I'd love to hear your stories!
Andrea has a one year old son named Oscar who has turned her life upside-down and inside-out. And she wouldn't change a thing. Follow her journey at Lil-Kid-Things, on Twitter and on FaceBook!
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