Being a mom is so full of emotions. But is there such a thing as mommy logic? Because that’s how I landed here in the Triangle.
I grew up in the South. First, Tennessee then South Carolina (where I went to high school and college). And then, my hubby and I made a mad, illogical dash 1,975 miles away to Phoenix, Arizona. He had just finished grad school and almost moved to Arizona years earlier for undergrad (luckily he didn’t because we never would have met). I always had an obsession with the Grand Canyon, even though the closest I had been was, well, Alabama.
It didn’t seem logical to most people we knew. We didn’t know anyone there (except a distant second cousin of my husband’s who he’d met as a kid), we had no jobs to move for, and, well, it was all the way across the flippin’ country!
But with no house to sell, no dogs or kids to consider and a heavy dose of adventure pumping through our veins, it made sense to us.
Five years, one dog, one baby and ten trips to the Grand Canyon later, a little dose of mommy logic started settling in. We ADORED our quaint home in southern Scottsdale, the insanely good restaurants, the beautiful places to hike and our newest friends. But at what sacrifice? Our little one saw his grandparents once or twice a year. I once went THREE years without seeing one of my sisters. Plane trips would only get pricier as the little one got older.
And the list went on.
The thought of moving back to the South hung in the back of my mind for months and months. Every milestone the kiddo hit kicked it up a notch. And then, fate struck.
I had been working at a job I loved but was looking for something a little less chaotic. One day at a marketing society event I sat next to a lady who started playing 20 questions with me. Next thing I know she tells me there’s a job I’d be PERFECT for and - get this - they are relocating to the South (Raleigh to be exact) in six months and paying for relocation. Did I really just hear that right?
And that’s when that mommy logic hit me full force. I was emotionally attached to Arizona but it just didn’t make sense anymore. And here, before me, was an opportunity to have a company PAY me to move closer to family, closer to family birthday parties, closer to the little one actually knowing his cousins instead of seeing them once a year.
Closer.
It wasn’t because I knew all the great things about Raleigh (I really didn’t other than research). Not because of the weather. Not because the Triangle is a technology mecca. It was because it made sense as a mama who wanted the best for her family. And maybe that’s part emotion too but at the time, it was pure facts, pure logic. Moving back to this side of the country meant we could have X, Y and Z. Living out west meant we could not.
And so we did it. We packed up and moved. From the place our son was born... to the place he’ll grow up.
It’s been over a year now and, despite some struggles, we’re officially settled in. In fact, we’re so settled we thought we’d grow the family a bit so my second boy is due next March. We’ve built a new group of friends, discovered fun places to hike and enjoyed some great Triangle restaurants. The types of things that emotionally attached us to Arizona. But now, I’ve got something bigger than I ever had while living nearly 2,000 miles away. I have a certain comfort knowing that this is the right place for us.
Six years ago it wasn’t. Today it is. And that makes perfect sense.
Emotion led us away from the South and mommy logic moved us back. Glad to be here.
Original post by Melissa, who loves Sephora every bit as much as REI. When she’s not contemplating what having two boys will do to her life expectancy, she can be found blogging about kids and the outdoors at adventuroo.com.
Welcome, Melissa!
I totally get the family thing. I would love to be closer to my family.
Posted by: marty | November 06, 2009 at 01:57 PM
Eek! Don't say this kind of stuff. All the family is in KS and it's food, friends, and landscape keeping us here in NC.
I will now attempt to rid my brain of all the mommy logic you just shared with me and go on living here in NC... at least for a while.
-Abby
PS- Welcome to TMs. We're glad to have you.
Posted by: @sweetbabboo | November 06, 2009 at 02:05 PM
Oh no! Mommy logic be gone!! My fam is still 4-6 hours away in all directions but we're all now in the South. Phoenix was 35 hours away-- definitely NOT drivable!
Thanks for the welcome!
Posted by: Melissa | November 06, 2009 at 02:57 PM
I love this post. I had a similar thing. My husband and I met & got married in Seattle. We loved it there, but after we had a baby, we felt the need to get closer to our families. His company had an office here, so we transferred. We *still* aren't really that close to our families - my parents are in Mississippi & his are in England, but since we aren't going to live in either of those locations, our logic is that at least we shortened the flights a whole lot. :-)
Posted by: cindy w | November 06, 2009 at 05:15 PM
Our family is all over the place, AL, SC, IN, Ohio...I feel like we are in a nice central location. We can drive anywhere in a day. We love Seattle though and have friends there but it would never work!
Posted by: Andrea | November 08, 2009 at 10:44 AM
D and I are so happy that you made the move!
Great post!
Posted by: Heather | November 09, 2009 at 07:26 PM