Triangle Mamas

Music and Movies by Moonlight

Congratulations to Jo, who won our giveaway for Animal Planet's Emergency Vets for the Nintendo DS. Thank you to all who entered!

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If you haven’t been to the North Carolina Museum of Art for an evening out, add it to your list right now. Their summer series includes a variety of movies and concerts, all performed in the open-air theater beside the museum. You can bring a picnic, buy a bottle of wine when you arrive, and enjoy a lovely evening under the stars.

My husband and I used to go there regularly before we had kids –- we even went to see all three parts of the Lord of the Rings trilogy on a Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. At the time I had no idea that going out to see a movie on three consecutive nights would soon become a crazy luxury.

Last weekend was our first time back to the amphitheater in years when we went to see Pink Martini (and opening act Sneakin’ Out ). It felt like old times in the best way –- the music was fantastic, the weather was beautiful, the picnic was tasty, the moon was full and the people-watching was highly entertaining.

Although we went without kids, we saw plenty of families with children of all ages. I was most impressed by those with new babies, strolling up and down the sidewalk trying to lull their little ones to sleep during the concert. When my firstborn was fresh, we were so overwhelmed and exhausted that we never took him out at night. It wasn’t until many months later that I realized we missed our window –- we weren’t sleeping anyway, so we should have just tucked him into the baby carrier while he was tiny and gone to every outdoor movie and concert we could find.

Now that our children are almost four and just turned one, it’s too hard on them (and us) to keep them up past their 7:30 bedtime. And since neither one of them turned out to be those kids who can fall asleep anywhere anytime, we can’t bring them along and tuck them into their blankets under the stars. I’m hopeful that will change in a few years and we’ll be able to take them to fun shows -– but for now, it’s nice to have the occasional night out without them.

Picnic with sushi and chocolate cake… $12
Two concert tickets… $40
Babysitting by the co-op… $0
Date night with my husband… priceless

An original Triangle Mamas post. When she’s not packing picnics and dressing up for date night, Cyndi can be found writing about why she wants to come back as China Forbes from Pink Martini at Junius & Pippi Take the Cake.

Say Cheese

Let me tell you about the first time we took our daughter in to have portraits taken.  Perhaps the story will sound familiar to you.  I called JC Penney and made the appointment, and on the day of the session we bathed Abigail, picked out two of her cutest outfits, and packed her off to the mall across town for her first professional portraits.  Of course I figured it would be a bit challenging, trying to take a picture of a tiny squirmy six-week-old baby, but after all, we only needed one good shot.  A single picture for posterity.  How hard could it be, I asked my husband.  

Oh, how naive I was.

Abigail had her own ideas about how the session should go. Well, to be exact, what she had were two poopy diapers in quick succession, followed by a full-scale freakout thanks to the pushy photographer, the bright lights, and the camera that was approximately the size of a compact car.  The photographer kept trying to "position" her, and really, what strong-willed baby likes being handled?  Abby made her displeasure known, of course.  There was no consoling her, and the pictures were all terrible, generic and impersonal, utterly lacking in spark or creativity.  So much for my grand portrait scheme.

One day not long after that, I came across a flyer for Nan Friedman with PS Studio.  I didn't know if Abigail would do better with another photographer, outside the dark, overheated, slightly claustrophobic JC Penney studio setting, but I figured it was worth a shot.  

Nan, who has been photographing children for over fifteen years, was great with Abby, warm and friendly and patient.  She just let her be herself, and as a result, the pictures actually looked like our three-month-old daughter, not some vague expressionless cyborg baby.  After just half an hour or so, we ended up with literally dozens of wonderful shots to choose from, Abby's personality shining through in every picture.  

We've been back to see Nan for Abby's six-month, nine-month, and one-year portraits, and have been absolutely thrilled every time.  As your typical photo-happy mom, it's so nice to know that when I make an appointment with Nan, dress Abigail up, and drive all the way there for the appointment, it's pretty much a sure thing.  I can't recommend her highly enough - and it's safe to say that we will never go back to JC Penney again.  

Nan's prices are very reasonable, and she works out of a brand-new, beautiful studio in Chapel Hill (on Stancell Drive, parallel to Highway 54 - also very convenient for Durham dwellers).  Next time portrait time rolls around, give her a call and tell her Abigail sent you.

P.S.  Expecting mamas, her maternity portraits are stunning, too!

Nikki is a crappy photographer and slightly better writer who also blogs at A Small Song.

It's All Worth It

Anna Podris is having a baby. Rather, I hope she has already had that baby. A little girl born to two artist parents. I think she will be a lucky little baby.

I really only know Anna through her artwork. Her paintings hang in our living room and provide Christopher a beautiful view of colors, building, birds, and whimsy during our morning nursing. When I saw that she was expecting, I was compelled to drop by the studio she and her husband Keith Norval share at Artspace in downtown Raleigh. I really wanted to give her a Moby and offer up the smiles and encouragement that only the mother of a baby who sleeps through the night can give.

There is something about new moms that I feel drawn to now that I have a little more confidence. Now that I don't spend most hours of the day locked with paralyzing anxiety over what I'm doing wrong as Christopher's mother.

One the one hand, I want to let new moms know that it does get better. It does not always feel like you have sold your soul to the gods of impatience, sleeplessness, helplessness, and anxiety. There will be a day when you wake up with your baby and realize that breastfeeding isn't controlling your day, it's fitting into it.

On the other hand, I don't want them to know how bad it can be. Maybe it's not so bad for every new mom. Maybe there are new moms who are calm, sleep when the baby sleeps, and don't have any breastfeeding issues. Maybe you could hear me laughing as I typed that.

I know that some of us have it worse than others. Some of us have hormones that just won't relinquish their throttle hold on our lives. Some of us have to do it alone without family nearby to help. Some of us have legitimate worries that mix themselves in with the irrational fears and make it hard to distinguish the two. Some of us have such severe anxiety that we stayed in bed with our babies for no less than three days, only getting out to go to the bathroom because we were afraid that if we moved or let go of the baby that our milk would dry up.

Okay, so that last one was probably only me.

A couple of weeks ago, Christopher and I paid Anna a visit. We sat and chatted about her pregnancy and her birth plans. We talked about attachment parenting and cheered at Keith's proclamation of "whatever works" parenting. She tried on the Moby and wrapped it right on her very first try.

I said nothing of my dark days. I said nothing of my marathon labor that laughed mockingly at the Pitocin until I finally gave into an epidural 14 hours later. I said nothing of the depression and anxiety I was sucked into while trying so hard to be able to nurse my son.

But I didn't lie to her when she asked questions.

I did say I made small goals and celebrated when I reached them. My small goal was to breastfeed that day. That one day. And when it happened, I congratulated myself at night and challenged myself to do it again the next day.

I did tell her that getting no sleep was hard, but it didn't last long in the grand scheme of things.

And I did tell her what we all know. Everything she was about to go through was worth it and then some. It would be worth it to become her little girl's mother.

The image above is of Bird Tropolis, an original oil on canvas by Anna Podris.

An original Triangle Mamas post. Marty is a mother, a musician, and a writer. You can also find her at Deep South Moms Blog.